Hey there my darlings!
If you know me, you know I love doing things that scare me (and I also hate it). It’s thrilling as hell (and it’s frightening as hell). But I do it, and afterwards I feel amazing.
It’s not about being FEARLESS. A lot of us throw this word around… fearless. We want to be fearless. We have no fear. We’re fucking the fear. But that’s not the way to think about it.
Fear can be a good thing. Fear is natural.
It’s born into us. It was an important survival tool. Having fear is good. You know who doesn’t have any fear? Sociopaths. I really hope none of us are trying to imitate a sociopath.
The problem with fear now is that so much of it stops us from doing really amazing things! Or really important things. Or very simple things even.
Fear stops people from talking to anyone new. From going for the new job, or promotion. From speaking up when someone wrongs you. From flying on airplanes. From….spiders. I promise, I am not trying to poke at anyone with any of these fears. I totally get it. We all have fears, some more rational than others, but it’s how you allow it to control you that matters.
For years I was afraid to try new foods because “WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE IT?” Oh! The terror! Really… what is the worst that would happen? I would be a bit uncomfortable for a moment. Spit it out or just swallow it. Take a drink. Then I would be fine. Right? But to me it was deadly. (I am shaking my head now at the ridiculousness of it all)
Eventually, the annoyance of not eating what everyone else was eating (and hearing all the shit about it) became worst than the fear of not liking it, so I tried something. I can’t remember what the first bit of it was, but… surprise! it wasn’t bad. Maybe… maybe I even liked it. (AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH) From there, I continued slowly to try new foods when the times presented themselves. There were so many (so, so many) foods I was convinced I didn’t like, when in truth, I’ve never even had any of it! Over time I learned to recognize the times when I was around a food and I thought “oh no, I don’t like that” as a HUGE RED FLAG. I would then think “Have I ever actually tried it?” If the answer was no, then I would try it. Simple as that. It wasn’t always easy for me to accept. Some of the thoughts were so ingrained in my head that I really did not like this food.
I am guessing no surprise to most of you – I found so many food I really liked, even some of which that because my favorite foods. ::cough-gravy-cough::
If you are freaking out at “gravy”, I understand (now). There are many foods that shocked even the closest of people to me that I have never tried. Here is a list of some of the more notable foods I did not try until only a few years ago (late 20s).
- BACON (this is always the most dramatic- but still not really a fan. please don’t hate me)
- GRAVY (yeah, any kind. Delicious. WHAT WAS I THINKING?)
- HOT WINGS
- HONEY MUSTARD
- BBQ (pork, brisket, ect.. THE BEST!)
Don’t get at my parents for this either. I was very stubborn.
During all of this trying, I had fear each time. But I went through anyway, and the fear lessened the more I tried new foods. Now, it’s a normal thing for me to try new foods. I will try any food once.
The point is- it’s not about NOT having fear, but not letting it control you. Know you will be fearful. Accept it… and do the fucking awesome thing anyway. Say “Hey Fear, I see you there. That’s cool – you can stick around, but we’re doing this thing, and you don’t get a say in it.”
And when you do that, it’s called COURAGE. You are brave as shit! You are mother fucking bad ass. And you feel it. It’s terrifying, and then… it’s empowering! What a sensation. We should all experience this in our lives. It’s what it means to truly live (to me). It fills me with passion, hope, excitement, trust and love.
If the thought of doing things that scare you, well… scares you, here are some tips:
- Start small. I mean baby, baby steps. I started with trying new foods. I knew this wasn’t going to kill me or even really hurt me. It was absolutely no big deal. Find this for yourself.
- Do that until it’s not so scary anymore. Maybe it only takes one time and you realize it’s nothing to worry about. Maybe it takes a few dozen. Any answer is okay.
- Do something else that scares you.
You don’t have to go jumping off cliffs right away (unless you want to, of course!). You don’t have to hold a tarantula if you are terrified of spiders. Maybe try not killing a house spider, or killing one if that terrifies you (although, I am generally against killing of any animal for non-use reasons). Just take one small step outside of your comfort zone – you don’t have to jump. Each step you take, with the fear along side of you but not controlling you, will help quiet that fear.
So – you tell me: What’s your big fear? Or little fear? Have you done anything to get out of your comfort zone? How did that make you feel?
Thanks for sticking around with me.